Dereliction of duty

A) Army deserter turns up in Iraq
B) Mom-to-be charged with DUI
C) 911 dispatcher falls asleep during call

A) is fake.
A pregnant woman in — guess! — Florida was busted for driving drunk (B), and a Memphis 911 dispatcher was busted for falling asleep while responding to a robbery call (C) (Caller: “A guy took my keys from my townhouse…” Operator: “[Snoring]”).
See which headline is fake.

Unpleasant discoveries

A) Baby found in house riddled with filth
B) Colossal squid has soccer-ball eyes
C) Barbershop fined for hair-covered floor

C) is fake.

A 1-year-old was discovered in a house "not fit for human residence" (A), and an 1,100 pounds squid and has eyes measuring 11 inches across (B).
See which headline is fake.

Dear old golden-rule days

A) Prank promotes sex, booze after prom
B) School offers class in text-message literature
C) Student 'Twitters' his way out of jail

B) is fake.

A letter distributed to parents at an Oregon school encouraged them to supply their kids with drugs and alcohol (A), and a one-word twitter message alerted a student's friends to his arrest in Egypt (C).
See which headline is fake.

Scantily-clad youth

A) Latest trend for Hollywood kids: "baby thongs"
B) 176-lb beauty squashes stereotypes
C) Boy charged with sharing nude cell pics

A) is fake.
A heavyset young lady is entered in the Miss England beauty pageant (B). Also, kids these days (C).
See which headline is fake.

Career hazards

A) Falling baby caught by postal worker
B) Pregnant bank teller shot in belly
C) Ad man trapped in office for 48 hours

C) is fake.
A postal worker in Albany caught a baby falling out of a second-story building (A), and a pregnant Indiana bank teller was shot in what officials called "an outrageous act of terrorism."
See which headline is fake.

On the road again

A) TV won't fit so teen rides in trunk
B) Model T crashes at auto show
C) Gator grins from atop back seat of car

B) is fake.

Two people in Tennessee were charged with reckless endangerment for having a teen ride around in the trunk of their Toyota Corolla (A), and a Texas state trooper found an alligator in a burglary suspect's car (C).
See which headline is fake.

Kitchen confidential

A) Butter knife pulled from boy's head
B) Man sklorks down 420 oysters, wins
C) Beet sales up, thanks to "The Office"

C) is fake.
A Washington boy is recovering well after a butter knife thrown by an angry classmate (“I could see the handle of the butter knife, sticking out. That’s when I freaked out.”) (A), and a new champion was crowned at the Acme World Oyster Eating contest (B). See which headline is fake.

Everyone just calm down

A) Baby with two faces worshipped as goddess
B) Strip club meetings criticized by women
C) Little Leaguers booed during award ceremony

C) is fake.

An infant girl with two faces -- two mouths, four eyes -- is seen by some Indians as a reincarnation of a Hindu goddess (A). And, for some reason, women are upset that some companies entertain business clients in strip clubs (B).
See which headline is fake.

Family law

A) Cops: Mom brought baby to robbery
B) Grandma's Disney trip leads to kidnapping charge
C) Aunt charged in murder too obese for jail

B) is fake.
A young mom toted her baby along on an armed bank robbery (A), and a half-ton woman was charged with murder (C).
See which headline is fake.

Peril surrounds us

A) 2-year-old girl falls 45 feet down a well
B) Superman costume can't prevent mugging
C) Man drilling hole with gun kills wife

B) is fake.
Rescuers are attempting to pull Baby Jessica 2.0 from a well in India (A), and a Missouri man accidentally shot his wife while using a gun to drill a hole in their bedroom wall (C).
See which headline is fake.

Twice bitten, once shy

A) Rat bites woman on toilet
B) Boy, 3, bitten twice by rattlesnake
C) Man bites dog who attacked wife

"Man bites dog" (C) is fake.

A London woman was bitten by a rat (A), and a Texas boy was bitten by a snake (B).
See which headline is fake.

Personal matters

A) Denied exit, child uses lunch box as toilet
B) Stripper-turned-mayor keeps on dancing
C) Divorcing man selling 'whole life' on eBay

B) is fake.

An Orlando teacher refused to allow a student to leave the room, and suffered the sad consequences (A), and a heartbroken Australian man is hoping for a fresh start by selling all his worldly possessions (C).
See which headline is fake.

Animal planet

A) Toddler and puppy wander 80 miles from home
B) Town putting $5 bounty on stray cats
C) Dolphin rescues stranded whales

A) is fake.
An Iowa town is considering a kitty bounty (B). A New Zealand bottlenose (C) herded two pygmy sperm whales around a dangerous sandbar and out to sea. (Phew!) See which headline is fake.

There oughta be a law

A) For this couple, 10th marriage is the charm
B) KKK vendor fights to sell his racist goods
C) Law to make tongue kissing minors a sex offense


A) is fake.
The Redneck Shop (B) in Laurens, South Carolina, is under threat of lawsuit for selling KKK robes and other supremacist must-haves. And, somewhat creepily, Virginia state legislators passed a law regarding pre-teen French-kissing habits (C).
See which headline is fake.

Man + Machine = Mixed Results

A) BBQ-turned-'Robocop' chases off bums
B) Pen factory opens in old pencil-factory site
C) Mom who power-washed tot turns self in


B) is fake.
There is a "barbecue smoker mounted on a three-wheeled scooter, and armed with an infrared camera, spotlight, loudspeaker and aluminum water cannon that shoots a stream of icy water about 20 feet" (A) in Atlanta, and an unwise Orlando mom (C) sprayed her poor kid at the car wash, yeah.
See which headline is fake.

It's a numbers game

A) 8% of Americans can't identify Lincoln
B) $6 million diamond is size of strawberry
C) 4-year-old drunk at school


A) is fake.
The fruit-size diamond (B) is real, and so is the tipsy tot (C). See which headline is fake.

John Ritter's mom was at least 30 inches tall

A) 28-inch-tall mom gives birth to 18-inch baby
B) Scientists: Monkeys tired of bananas
C) Jury hears John Ritter's final message


The answer:
B) is fake.
The tiny mom (A) had a not-much-tinier baby, and the jury did listen to John Ritter (C).
See which headline is fake.

But could the snake eat the bear?

A) Snake eats family dog as kids watch
B) Bear fends off honey thief
C) Teacher, on tape, rails at "stupid" 5-year-old


The answer:
B) is fake.
The snake (A) ate the dog, "in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics." The teacher (C) called the kids stupid-heads. See which headline is fake.