Unpleasant discoveries

A) Baby found in house riddled with filth
B) Colossal squid has soccer-ball eyes
C) Barbershop fined for hair-covered floor

C) is fake.

A 1-year-old was discovered in a house "not fit for human residence" (A), and an 1,100 pounds squid and has eyes measuring 11 inches across (B).
See which headline is fake.

Dear old golden-rule days

A) Prank promotes sex, booze after prom
B) School offers class in text-message literature
C) Student 'Twitters' his way out of jail

B) is fake.

A letter distributed to parents at an Oregon school encouraged them to supply their kids with drugs and alcohol (A), and a one-word twitter message alerted a student's friends to his arrest in Egypt (C).
See which headline is fake.

Scantily-clad youth

A) Latest trend for Hollywood kids: "baby thongs"
B) 176-lb beauty squashes stereotypes
C) Boy charged with sharing nude cell pics

A) is fake.
A heavyset young lady is entered in the Miss England beauty pageant (B). Also, kids these days (C).
See which headline is fake.

Career hazards

A) Falling baby caught by postal worker
B) Pregnant bank teller shot in belly
C) Ad man trapped in office for 48 hours

C) is fake.
A postal worker in Albany caught a baby falling out of a second-story building (A), and a pregnant Indiana bank teller was shot in what officials called "an outrageous act of terrorism."
See which headline is fake.

Water, water everywhere

A) Man charged in holy-water pool scheme
B) Mystery water springs up in yard
C) Weird fish leave sea, spawn on beach

A) is fake.
A Florida homeowner is baffled by a mysterious hole gushing with water in Florida (B). ("He hopes someone can come out, take a look at it and help him before it gets bigger.") And hot video captures fish spawning en masse(C).
See which headline is fake.

Special or annoying: You be the judge

A) 26-toilet mansion plans irk neighbors
B) Lover asks 'bus girl' to be his bus wife
C) Man's six-year vacation winds through 147 countries

C) is fake.
A massive Connecticut mansion has the neighborhood in a huff (A), and a Washington man asked his girlfriend -- once just a stranger on the bus -- to marry him via intercom (B). She said yes.
See which headline is fake.

On the road again

A) TV won't fit so teen rides in trunk
B) Model T crashes at auto show
C) Gator grins from atop back seat of car

B) is fake.

Two people in Tennessee were charged with reckless endangerment for having a teen ride around in the trunk of their Toyota Corolla (A), and a Texas state trooper found an alligator in a burglary suspect's car (C).
See which headline is fake.

There's gotta be a better way

A) Teens learn construction skills by building principal's house
B) 'Jesus' image creates stir at hospital
C) Love-struck hacker proposes using 'Bejeweled'

A) is fake.
An image of Jesus briefly appeared in a Florida hotel window (B), before, we can assume, moving on to meet his 4 o'clock tortilla appointment. And a New Jersey tech guy proposed to his girlfriend by reprogramming her favorite video game to display a "ring" and a marriage proposal on screen (C). She said yes.
See which headline is fake.

Kitchen confidential

A) Butter knife pulled from boy's head
B) Man sklorks down 420 oysters, wins
C) Beet sales up, thanks to "The Office"

C) is fake.
A Washington boy is recovering well after a butter knife thrown by an angry classmate (“I could see the handle of the butter knife, sticking out. That’s when I freaked out.”) (A), and a new champion was crowned at the Acme World Oyster Eating contest (B). See which headline is fake.

Household chores

A) Bull Mastiff carries out trash for owner
B) World's largest dishwasher can hold 1,000 plates
C) Man wears skirt to mow lawn, breaks law

B) is fake.
A Maryland dog is truly man's best friend (A), and a man who dons a very short skirt before mounting his riding mower is in trouble with the law.
See which headline is fake.

Prepare for global heartwarming

A) 75-year marriage started with a wrong number
B) Man finds 140k dollars on street, returns it
C) 'Squirrelman' to leave his tree for an RV

A) is fake.
A California man racked up some good karma by returning $140,000 to its rightful owner (B), and a man who has spent two years living in a city-owned tree has struck out on his own (C.
See which headline is fake.

Everyone just calm down

A) Baby with two faces worshipped as goddess
B) Strip club meetings criticized by women
C) Little Leaguers booed during award ceremony

C) is fake.

An infant girl with two faces -- two mouths, four eyes -- is seen by some Indians as a reincarnation of a Hindu goddess (A). And, for some reason, women are upset that some companies entertain business clients in strip clubs (B).
See which headline is fake.

Wild Turkey tales

A) Trooper tapes wild turkey brawl
B) Ambassador racks up 500 parking tickets
C) Drunk newlyweds tasered, jailed

B) is fake.
A Maine police officer fails to break up two sparring turkeys (A), and a young California couple start their married life with a tasering and a night in jail (C). No word on the involvement of Wild Turkey.
See which headline is fake.

You can quote me on that.

A) Neighbors 'outraged' over dog named Fidel
B) Pavarotti 'lip-synched last performance'
C) 'Car', 'bird' nose dive into harbor

A) is fake.
A killjoy conductor revealed that Pavarotti lip-synched his final performance of 'Nessun Dorma' (B), and entertainment-starved Australians gathered to watch decorated vehicles flop into Sydney Harbor (C).
See which headline is fake.

See you Monday!

Rare Dolphin is on vacation until Monday, April 7. Entertain yourselves with real headlines until then. See which headline is fake.

Neat tricks

A) Ballpark of Legos took 7 years to make
B) Twisty gator barrel rolls in cops' lasso
C) Memory champ recites "Harry Potter"

C) is fake.
A replica of Milwaukee's Miller Park includes lights and a retractable roof (A), and, in a story that just might not have made national news if a camera hadn't been present, a Florida alligator rolled around (B).
See which headline is fake.