Dereliction of duty

A) Army deserter turns up in Iraq
B) Mom-to-be charged with DUI
C) 911 dispatcher falls asleep during call

A) is fake.
A pregnant woman in — guess! — Florida was busted for driving drunk (B), and a Memphis 911 dispatcher was busted for falling asleep while responding to a robbery call (C) (Caller: “A guy took my keys from my townhouse…” Operator: “[Snoring]”).
See which headline is fake.

Unpleasant discoveries

A) Baby found in house riddled with filth
B) Colossal squid has soccer-ball eyes
C) Barbershop fined for hair-covered floor

C) is fake.

A 1-year-old was discovered in a house "not fit for human residence" (A), and an 1,100 pounds squid and has eyes measuring 11 inches across (B).
See which headline is fake.

Dear old golden-rule days

A) Prank promotes sex, booze after prom
B) School offers class in text-message literature
C) Student 'Twitters' his way out of jail

B) is fake.

A letter distributed to parents at an Oregon school encouraged them to supply their kids with drugs and alcohol (A), and a one-word twitter message alerted a student's friends to his arrest in Egypt (C).
See which headline is fake.

Scantily-clad youth

A) Latest trend for Hollywood kids: "baby thongs"
B) 176-lb beauty squashes stereotypes
C) Boy charged with sharing nude cell pics

A) is fake.
A heavyset young lady is entered in the Miss England beauty pageant (B). Also, kids these days (C).
See which headline is fake.

Career hazards

A) Falling baby caught by postal worker
B) Pregnant bank teller shot in belly
C) Ad man trapped in office for 48 hours

C) is fake.
A postal worker in Albany caught a baby falling out of a second-story building (A), and a pregnant Indiana bank teller was shot in what officials called "an outrageous act of terrorism."
See which headline is fake.

Water, water everywhere

A) Man charged in holy-water pool scheme
B) Mystery water springs up in yard
C) Weird fish leave sea, spawn on beach

A) is fake.
A Florida homeowner is baffled by a mysterious hole gushing with water in Florida (B). ("He hopes someone can come out, take a look at it and help him before it gets bigger.") And hot video captures fish spawning en masse(C).
See which headline is fake.

Special or annoying: You be the judge

A) 26-toilet mansion plans irk neighbors
B) Lover asks 'bus girl' to be his bus wife
C) Man's six-year vacation winds through 147 countries

C) is fake.
A massive Connecticut mansion has the neighborhood in a huff (A), and a Washington man asked his girlfriend -- once just a stranger on the bus -- to marry him via intercom (B). She said yes.
See which headline is fake.